Keeping an Art Journal

Keeping an art journal is an essential tool in the process of intuitive painting. Thoughts and ideas have to be written down before they get lost in the brain-chatter of a normal day.
I have kept an art journal, on and off for 15 years. The desire to archive comes from a problem with ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) and a very poor short-term memory. It distresses me to find memories fading into the maelstrom of everyday life and the relentless march of time.
My journal contains photos of my paintings, dates, sometimes a description of the process and buyers’ details. I write quotes from books that inspire me and words of wisdom from mentors and art teachers. Notes from workshops and lessons are included along with relevant photos so as not to forget the techniques demonstrated. I have included all the invitations and brochures where my work has been exhibited and those of all the wonderful exhibitions I have visited. I also write in my thoughts regarding my art process and how I feel about certain aspects of art-making.
When I started writing my journal, my words were extremely wooden and impersonal; I was terrified of revealing myself in case somebody accessed it! My typical British upbringing made me very guarded and private. I am hypersensitive and was afraid if I revealed anything of myself; I would invite scorn and ridicule. I have never considered myself a good writer and am hopeless at spelling (I love spell-check!).
Just writing this now makes me want to laugh; how can you be an exhibiting artist and be frightened to reveal something of yourself? With practice, I started writing from the heart and was quite amazed at what appeared on the pages! By journaling, I have revealed who I am to myself, “This is me!” Self-knowledge is incredibly empowering.
By writing about my painting, I have been able to see how to proceed. The journey that a painter sets out on, can take many twists and turns, decisions to follow a particular route sometimes takes guts and determination. In order to continue to develop and expand, one has to experiment, take risks and learn to listen to that inner intuitive voice. A good thing about ADD is one gets bored with repetition and excited with experimentation. Apparently Leonardo da Vinci exhibited ADD tendencies, with many projects on the go and never quite finishing things!
The writing of this blog is now a new extension of my journal. It is definitely not a private space, rather a place for the sharing of ideas. I so appreciate the wonderful comments artists take the time to write and love visiting their blogs to see their space.

Reality to Abstraction

I have been quite frustrated with my “Plein Air” attempts lately. I would like to be able to abstract what I see and am finding this very difficult. I have been painting what I see for many years now and my realistic paintings just don’t excite me, they are very ordinary and repetitive. They don’t say much about anything, they are just a faithful recording of what is in my line of vision.
I decided to change my medium and take my oil paints with me. I left all my small brushes at home, I only took 1 inch and larger (wall brushes) and a few palette knives. If I have small brushes with me, I start to fiddle and put in all the details. I also decided to work with a limited palette. I had a go at painting those Stone Pine trees again. I seemed to get in an abstract mode when I started playing with the paint and experimenting with texture. I don’t think this is really “Plein Air” painting, since I merely breathed in the idea of the trees and then allowed the paint and canvas to take over; still, it is wonderful to be out in the fresh air with my painting buddies. We share a very special kind of friendship and are very supportive and encouraging of each other.
This is an attempt at abstracting from reality, it is still quite realistic but I definitely felt a shift away from complete realism. I am so often seduced into producing a “chocolate box” image when faced with Cape Town’s wonderful scenery!

A Painting in Progress

It is so hard to get back into painting after a trip away; there are always so many mundane tasks to get out of the way before I can loose myself again in the painting process. I feel a keen sense of loss not having painted for three weeks, it’s a bit like an addiction or an obsession, I have withdrawal symptoms!

I thought I should put down a few words regarding my painting process. I am allowing this painting to evolve, trying not to control its destination. The larger format of 122 x 88cm is a challenge. Scruffy old 3.5cm wall brushes have been used to apply the acrylic paint, creating interesting brush-strokes. With the canvas flat on the floor while applying the paint, I can doodle, splatter and dribble to my hearts content. I usually put on music and end up dancing and swaying around the canvas, feeling a bit like a witch attending her cauldron! Sometimes the canvas becomes very wet if water is sprayed into the mix and a huge amount of patience is required to allow the painting to dry flat without fiddling with it. I love the interesting patterns that emerge during the drying process.
I like to work on three or four paintings at a time, experimenting on one and repeating the experiment on another. I am now trying to keep the images mostly abstract.
Somehow I am seduced by my logical mind into finding figurative images too soon in the process. I think it is my mind’s way of taking control again and I am now aware of this. I have to try to leave my, “Left brain” at the studio door.
The only problem with this method of painting is that a huge amount of space is required. I am now outgrowing my little appropriated studio (3rd bedroom), I need a room the size of a church hall with added veranda for drying paintings!
I am so enjoying finding like-minded artists on the web. Diane McGregor expresses the intuitive painting concept beautifully in her words and paintings. See http://www.dianemcgregor.blogspot.com/

Visit to UK

After a lightening visit to Yorkshire, London and Dubai, I am home again. Our new little granddaughter is all "peaches and cream", I adore her after spending only four days with her. This is a whole new dimension, a whole new era!

Our three days in London were packed with gallery visits, theatre, catching up with friends and a visit to Waterstones in Piccadilly for new art books.

We have a much-loved experience that epitomises London for us, we have our morning coffee listening to the classical buskers at Covent Garden. Musicians play a variety of classical pieces, hoping for support in the way of a few coins in the strategically placed hat.
I visited an exhibition, "Poetry and Dreams" at the Tate Modern, featuring works of Picasso, Kandinsky, Bacon and various Surrealists. An installation, "30 Pieces of Silver" really moved me at a visceral level. The artist had collected hundreds of pieces of silverware from markets and carboot sales. She had the pieces flattened by a steam-roller and then suspended in 30 circular arrangements 50cm above the floor. The title relates to Judas Iscariot. While observing the flattened knives, forks, trays and goblets, I had the most overwhelming sense of poignancy - here was a collection of personal treasures, these pieces once took pride of place in peoples' homes, they reeked of history. The pieces emanated a sense of loss and terrible sadness. Wow! This is art. This work had the power to really move me!
I stood looking at a Francis Bacon painting, trying to make sense of it. His faces seem to emit a sense of anxiety, fear and violence. The disturbance felt in my gut is fascinating! Next to his painting, I read, "His visceral figures inhabit a climate of uncertainty and anxiety, (and then quotes Bacon) "as if a human being had passed between them, like a snail, leaving a trail of the human presence and memory trace of past events".
This quote was so relevant to a conversation that I had had with my husband that morning, we had walked past the bronze statue of Winston Churchill sitting on a bench with Dwight Eisenhower on New Bond Street. Our children had sat on the bench in the space between the figures 20 years ago. We had mused at the possibility of leaving something of our essence, DNA or soul as we inhabit a space, a tiny piece of ourselves remains somehow? Bacon actually painted his figures with this concept in mind.

Brushspace.com, a site for artists

I am having such fun with a new artists' site, www.brushspace.com. Each artist is given a profile page where their art works and links to blogs and websites can be displayed. The artists then connect with each other by becoming a "follower" of the artists with work that they admire. Artists with the most followers are then featured on the home page in the top 100 list.
The site is growing every day and has about 900 members today from all over the world. I have found the standard of the work truely amazing.
Artists so often work in isolation. Comments are made regarding your paintings, here is a great vehicle for sharing your work and your opinions. I value the comments that other members take the time to write. The site offers messaging facilities that are public and private.
When I joined a few weeks ago, the site had a few glitches. I wrote to the site manager and was pleasantly surprised at his prompt replies and action. Thanks James for a great site!!

Post Selection Day

The Selection Day was grueling! No, the Judges didn't like my style of painting, so none of them were selected! I have thought long and hard about it all.
Considering how long the judges took to agree on the winning paintings indicated that they couldn't agree on what constituted a good painting - their choice was purely subjective. What I am doing is still in the experimental stage and probably has still got quite a distance to go, but it feels right for me, so I will carry on and not feel daunted by the likes and dislikes of others.
I observed that many of the paintings that appealed to me were marked with low points, so who knows?
I look at the paintings I submitted and I really like them, they are a true expression and come from within. This kind of work will not appeal generally and I have to accept that and not be side-swiped into a different direction.
The great thing is, I have not been crushed emotionally, and I’m feeling strong and know the path I am on is right for me. An artist friend of mine said that when this happened to her, she went home and cut up her paintings in response to the rejection. I have known other good artists that have given up painting after being exposed to crushing criticism. The positive spin on this is I have definitely made a great step in emotional maturity!

Selection Day!!

What is it about art competitions that make me want to crawl into my shell like a snail? The selection day for the Annual Exhibition of the South African Society of Artists is coming up on Saturday. Art competitions get me into a bit of a panic, the thought of exposing my work for critical scrutiny makes me very nervous.

The Society invites three external judges who select paintings for the exhibition and choose prize winners in the various categories. A massive number of paintings are entered so I will be really lucky to get all three paintings selected. A few years ago, all three of my paintings were rejected. If felt as if a knife had been driven into my guts and turned slowly. I was horrified that I had allowed myself to be exposed emotionally. I was depressed for months after and didn’t enter paintings for another three years.

Somehow we artists need to learn to deal with negative criticism of our work, we have to toughen up and not take it so incredibly personally. I am hypersensitive and I think that hypersensitivity is an essential quality of my personality that I tap into as a painter; it acts as my, “Super-awareness” radar. A while ago, during a bad patch of depression, I was put on anti-depressive therapy for a few months. A curious thing happened; the therapy reduced my levels of sensitivity and I was unable to motivate myself to paint. I could stand at my canvas and paint in a purely technical way, but was unable to feel the drive and passion that normally gets me painting so I stopped painting until I stopped swallowing those mind-altering substances. So I have decided I need my hypersensitivity, warts and all, it is part of who I am.

So Saturday is “D” day and I am a glutton for punishment! I have been asked to assist with the process, (each painting is brought before the judges rather than have them viewed as they are stacked around the hall), and so I will be present when my paintings are given points. I will keep telling myself, “Breathe deeply and slowly, this is not the end of the world, just learn to deal with it”.

On the home front, I am so excited, my daughter has just given birth to a little girl! I have a granddaughter! They live in Leeds, England and so will be flying there in 11 days time.

Let the winds of the heavens dance between you

This painting has taken many twists and turns and again the theme of dance has emerged. The title of the painting is a line from The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran, where he talks about marriage, below is an excerpt:-
"But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Love one another, but make not a bond of love,
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from the one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone.
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music".

The Dance2

Why do I paint?

I have always been fascinated with how my creative pursuits have lifted me psychologically out of the mundane humdrum of daily existence. I feel alive, sometime ecstatic when occupied in the process of some creative project. I paint with a passion, I am truly happy when I have five paintings on the go, to think about when I am driving and dream about in the half-awake hours of the early morning. Only when painting am I truly in the present and focused on the task at hand. Time seems to speed up, stand still and then slip away; painting is a form of meditation. For me, painting is my medium for expressing my deepest thoughts, emotions and ideas.

My hands have always been busy; I spent a few years creating wall hangings and children’s toys from pieces of fabric and other found items. I had an eternal longing to paint but needed to learn the technical aspects of applying paint to the canvas. Various artists have been so generous with sharing their knowledge. Initially my paintings were very ordinary still lives, landscapes and figures. I desperately wanted to learn how to express myself in an individual way and I wanted my paintings to say something about who I am and how I feel.

I felt very fortunate to be amongst the group of artists that participated in the workshops conducted by Judith Mason. I was insecure and out of my depth at the time, but have come to realise how much my way of painting has progressed since these workshops. Judith opened up a door for me and I walked through.